They've all got ass-ets worth a cool million!

Silentnight, the UK's best-loved bed brand, has promoted 54-year-old father-of-two Graham to the official position of bed bouncer and insured his rear for a million pounds - thanks to its super-sensitive powers.

Graham, who's worked at the company for 27 years, acquired the title when the company discovered his bottom was more responsive than the norm.

His hypersensitive rear was so reliable in recognising the different fillings in Silentnight mattresses that bosses began to consult him when working on new products. His duties involve bouncing on beds and giving feedback on the softness, textures and fillings and ultimately deciding on whether a bed goes to market.

Graham said: "It may sound ridiculous but my bottom really isn't like any other. I have increased sensitivity around the buttocks and can literally feel the difference in materials and fillings used, simply by sitting on it. I'm sure I'm the 'butt' of everyone's jokes but I'm very proud to be the owner of a £1m. backside!"

Steven Simpson, of Silentnight, said: "Silentnight has over 60 years experience of making Britain's best-loved beds and we're so committed to comfort we're convinced taking out this £1m. insurance policy is worth every penny."