In striving to be different, to remain in the public eye and in the glare of the cameras, they think only of themselves and their publicity and not of the baby who will have to bear the burden of their crass stupidity for the rest of their lives.

Mr Pendle only mentions this because he stumbled across the recent story of a judge in New Zealand who ruled a girl named "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" should be placed in his court's guardianship until "appropriately renamed".

This sort of thing is nothing new, of course.

Back in the 1960s, a Liverpool football fan christened his child with the names of the 11 players who won the FA Cup in 1965.

Fortunately, the goalkeeper's name was (Tommy) Lawrence, so he got away lightly, has a sensible sounding first name and has probably discarded Lawler, Byrne, Strong, Yeats, Stevenson, Callaghan, Hunt, St John, Smith and Thompson to the waste bin, thus sparing his blushes.

More recently, we have the likes of Peaches Geldof, Brooklyn Beckham and Sage Moonblood Stallone who have the misfortune to carry names you certainly would not find in the top 10 – or probably the top 1,000 – of populist choices.

Still, there is one consolation for Talula – at least her parents did not christen her Number 16 Bus Shelter, as another New Zealand couple did with their child.


BEING single when you reach middle age can increase the risk of a person suffering from dementia, according to research in Sweden.

Now readers might suppose that, as a single man, Mr Pendle would be worried to hear this.

One or two of might even put forward the suggestion it is too late for him to be concerned, as he is already suffering from the condition.

But he is not – and certainly has no worries as to what the future holds either.

Whatever will be, will be.

And rather than listen to scaremonger stories like this, he prefers to put his faith in Alzheimer's Society spokesman Susanne Sorenson, who says singletons such as Mr Pendle have no need to worry.

The best ways of reducing the risk of dementia involve regular exercise and not smoking, she says.

So Mr Pendle can tick both boxes there and start looking forward to a happy middle – and hopefully old – age.