That is the day when the grunters and screamers descend on our television screens – yes, Wimbledon is with us once again.

Time was when the only noises on a televised game of tennis were the sound of ball on racket, the "Oohs" and "Aahs" of the crowd and the inevitable "Oh! I say!" from commentator Dan Maskell at the end of a rally.

Now, it is as if the viewer was watching a natural history programme, as almost every player grunts and screams like a wild animal whenever they hit the ball. Whatever for?

If the greats of the past like Borg and Evert could win Wimbledon without all the oral histrionics, why can't the top players of today like Nadal and Sharapova do the same?

Mr Pendle has no idea – but he does know one thing.

British interest in Wimbledon will once again be severely restricted, with any hopes of success lying with Andy Murray (singles) and his brother Jamie (mixed doubles).

And as for the rest?

It will be just the same as every other year.

They will all be sent packing by the end of the first week – and in most cases, by the end of the first round.

PENDLE councillors have recently been discussing proposals by BT to close nine public pay phones in the borough.

Which causes Mr Pendle to ask – how many people still use these phones?

A report to councillors said there were almost 62,000 such phones in the country, of which 60 per cent did not pay their way. Also, it said, 99 per cent of homes have a telephone, and in this modern era, nine out of 10 of us have a mobile phone.

"Striking a balance between the growing commercial pressures and providing an effective pay phone service is vital, and BT has managed to keep its pay phone business viable by careful management of costs," said the company in a letter to the council.

But it went on to say that the challenge was becoming ever more demanding and constant reviews were necessary to realign the service with the reduced demand – and if that means some kiosks have to be closed, then so be it.

MR Pendle has in the past poured scorn on the ridiculous predictions of fortune tellers and astrologers who claim to be able to see into the future.

And now, it seems, he has been proved right.

For the Government has announced there is to be a clampdown on their operations. Which leads Mr Pendle to ask the obvious question - if these people claim to be able to predict what the future holds for us all, how come none of them saw what was coming for themselves?